Dietary Requirements

Please note: I never take it personally if a caterer can’t meet these requirements. Just let me know, and I’ll self cater to avoid hassles.

Allergies: Trace Level Problems

If the product says “May contain traces” I have to assume it contains traces.  Shared equipment in a commercial catering kitchen is an acceptable risk (if you have dedicated equipment, it’s appreciated)

  • Wheat (including trace levels and derivatives). This is a specific allergy to wheat, not gluten. Gluten free wheat is still an allergen
  • Dairy products (including trace levels): This is a milk allergy, so lactose free milk is still an allergen
  • Alcohol inclusive of food that has been cooked, marinated or otherwise uses wine even if the alcohol is cooked off
    • White wine is a specific allergen as it uses dairy products in the production process
  • Processed meats which use wheat/diary based additives or traces
  • Fluoride:
    • This means that any food cooked by boiling or absorption (eg rice) method or similar techniques that use fluoridated water is out.
      • Yes, this takes soups out if you’ve made it with tap water.
    • This eliminates tap water as a drink, and ice cubes in any other drink.
    • Note: produce washed in the water is fine
    • Steamed food is fine as well.

Allergies: Non Trace Level Problems

I can work around these being present (eg on the same plate, dish) but not if they’re mixed in together (eg salad, soup or other compound)

  • Coconut and derivatives (eg coconut milk),
  • Pumpkin,
  • Sweet potato,
  • Curry powders and curries
  • Mango,
  • Banana,
  • Strawberry,
  • Kiwi fruit
  • Pineapple

The Options List

Food: I am not vegetarianAll forms of plain meat, inclusive of fish, seafood, chicken, pork, and steak  are acceptable.

  • Basic meal alternatives include plain grilled vegetables with a plain grilled meat (eg chicken, steak, seafood).
  • Salads without dressing are fine.
  • Grilled vegetables and grilled meat using olive oil is fine. Grilled, not burnt.
  • Eggs are also fine. For some reason, they get classified as dairy, and unless cows got weird, no, they’re not a lactose based outcome.
  • All seafood (not crumbed and/or battered) is fine.
  • Chili, salt, pepper, and herbs are fine.
  • If in doubt, the back-stage can check with me for confirmation of requirements.

Drinks: Acceptable and safe options include Pepsi Max and Diet Red Bull, or bottled still water (Mt Franklin or similar), or cheerfully looking the other way if I need to supply my own provisions.

If alternative food cannot be provided by a caterer, let me know and I will self cater.

Also, if you’re not providing non-alcoholic options at your event, please consider non-drinkers and expand the library of options. I’m not the only one who doesn’t want alcohol, and it’s 2021, we should be celebrating the variety of fine beverage options out there in the market space.

Commercial Food options (Australian)

  • Nando’s (Most Australian states, some UK areas)
    • Chicken tenderloin meal (extra hot, peri salt chips);
  • Grill’d Burgers (Several states):
    • Almighty (mods: Gluten free bun, no cheese);
    • Simon Says Burger (Gluten free bun)
  • Generic Options
    • Pad Thai (chicken or seafood, rice noodles)
    • Plain grilled fish and chips (no batter)
Perfectly safe and very tasty. We can do this people, it’s in the realms of the possible.